elanamatic: Empty Threats
Dear Mr. Hand -
If you send the dude one more e-mail detailing my daytime activities, I promise to track down your woman and give her daily updates on your chosen wardrobe. Not only that but I will find discreet ways to snap a shot of your occasional Marcus Aurelius hairdo and mail it to her with a big bow.
When I am done with completely humiliating you in these most shallow ways, I will proceed to stock up on Terry's Chocolate Oranges and selfishly eat one piece a day until I am all but drooling with orangeychocolateyness. I will insist on leaving both empty wrappers and remaining chocolates in full view of your desk. I will offer plenty to our fellow co-workers, but you friend, will have none of it.
xox
me.
ps. oh and to think i selflessly gave up my beloved Celine Dion fleece for your favourite future-mother-in-law.
