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sunshine jen: Gas is Expensive
Gas is expensive. Whoah. It's really expensive. It's expensive like fine chocolate is expensive---in that pretentiously over the top expensive way.
It really really really sucks that gas is expensive. That totally brings me down. I look at the smog on the horizon and see nickels and dimes. I don't want to think about money while enjoying the pretty colors of a California sunset.
Still, it's a bit depressing. I finally own a car that works and gas prices aren't going down with the setting sun. They're going up up up into the stratosphere. I mean, $2.69 for a lame ass gallon. You've gotta be kidding.
How am I suppose to be a proper consumer in this Buy!Buy!Buy! economy if I have to spend all my money on gas? Face it, gas is not as cute as that pink handbag I've been drooling over.
Gas is not as exciting as that new movie I wanna see. How are we suppose to see Star Wars 3 (or is it 6?) over and over and over again if driving to the theater costs more than the tickets combined with popcorn?
Gas will not move me (really move me) like that CD that I'm sure will change my life or at least my outlook. I was gonna buy that CD new and not on sale. Not just file share it either.
I can't drink gas. However, what if I set up a moonshine still in the backyard? It would be just like MASH only without the Korean War part. I really loved that MASH show while I was growing up.
In my all-girls Catholic high school, all the nuns thought Alan Alda was just the bee's knees. If the nuns had the vote, Alan Alda would be the next pope.
I have a 'Meeting Alan Alda' story, but I'll tell that at another time. Right now, I'm venting. Damn you, gas prices! Damn you!
Where was I? Oh yes.
I could save up my pennies (they're still legal currency, aren't they?) and buy a bicycle. Hah! Take that oil companies.
And it won't just be me. It will be all of us sitting on the 405 in rush hour traffic. Yes! It will be a bicycle revolution! Who's with me?
Excuse me, ma'am, ma'am could you roll down your window? Helloooooo, the revolution is starting, and. . . .
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry. I hope you feel better.
No, that's okay.
Really.
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