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sunshine jen: From the Sunshine Jen Writers Room
This weekend, the Sunshine Jen writers had an emergency meeting because they had no piece for this week. Below is an abridged transcript from that meeting.
In order to protect the writing process, the writers' names have been omitted.
--Okay people, let's settle down, it's the beginning of October and we need a piece. The Citywalk piece was a total bomb. . .
--Maybe we shouldn't have said we hated the Citywalk in the first paragraph.
--Kind of turns off the reader right at the beginning. Too much negativity.
--Yeah!
--Yeah!
--Hey! You haven't even been to the Citywalk. You have no idea the stress it caused.
--Okay, okay, that's enough, that's in the past, let's move on. What have we got?
--The Dodgers clinched!
(sounds of cheers and applause)
--Okay, and. . .
--Greg Maddux is uh, uh, uh, the Yoda of pitching.
--Oh please, enough with the Star Wars already.
--Saito, Saito, Saito! I just love his name. Saito. It's like Sit down!
--Guys, guys, Nomar's hurting though.
--Nomar is tough. Nomar has passion. Nomar will play.
--They play the Mets on Tuesday.
--Ewwww, the Mets are gonna sweep them.
--Don't be such a pessimist. I see shades of 88.
--I wonder if we're gonna get a Maddux-Glavine matchup.
--Man, that would be so sweet.
--Does A-rod know who he is yet?
--Okay, so we're a little all over the place with the baseball right now. Anything else?
--I went to an Irish wedding in Mexico. It was nice except the hotel ran out of Pacifico. Had to drink Tecate all night.
--I like Tecate.
--Anything interesting happen at the wedding?
--Typical wedding festivities. Although the Groom's brother played 'Let It Be' on an out of tune baby grand piano in the lobby at two in the morning. Good times those were. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
--I think we should just let that whole idea be.
--I don't think that idea can be, it's been.
--So over, so September.
--I went to the Getty Villa last week.
--Ugh, not art again.
--Saw a lot of old nude statues. They had one whole room for Gods and Goddesses, and one room for minor deities and monsters. It grew old really quick.
--It's all Greek to me.
--Harharharhar.
--I was thinking of doing a piece on Bill Clinton called 'I wanna give Bill Clinton a blow job' on how he is super alpha male after standing up and not taking shit on the Fox interview. He actually said he wanted to 'kill' bin Laden. He didn't want to take him out or neutralize him. He wanted to kill him. So I was thinking of how a woman, a real woman, would react to a man speaking like that, and she would give him the mother of all blow jobs.
--Sounds a little crude. Isn't he married to the Junior Senator from New York?
--No, it's all a metaphor for post-feminist feminism. I am a woman with control and experience, and you are a man worthy of me. Girlie sluts may come and go, but great women only get better with age.
--Like good wine.
--I don't know, sounds a little Maureen Dowd to me.
--How about an interview with the devil?
--Huh?
--You know, the devil is pissed off that mortals are calling each other the devil in a political context. After all, there's only one devil, and political mortals got nothing on him.
--He's a fallen angel too.
--Hmmm, too Daily Show.
--Christ, what do you want, my blood? Here, you can have it, take my blood.
--I don't want your blood.
--Hey who drank the last Coke One? Damn it, now how am I suppose to concentrate!
--Duct tape! How about something about duct tape!
--Too Garrison Keillor.
--Hey, guys, I have an idea, what if we didn't do a piece at all, what if we just put up some pictures.
--We're words. Sunshine Jen is words, has always been words, heck we're even in the words category.
--How about movies? Has anyone seen The Illusionist?
--Oh yeah, I especially liked at the end. . .
--Don't spoil it for me. Lalalalala, I'm not listening.
--Could we do a musical number?
--No way!
--Have we fallen so far?
--We could talk about Project Runway. Who is everyone rooting for?
--Laura, of course.
--I'm liking Uli. Fun, life, adventure.
--It's gotta be Michael.
--JEFFREEEY! WOOHOOOOO!
--We should do a Sunshine Jen reality show.
--We are the Sunshine Jen reality show.
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