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sunshine jen: From the Reject Pile
The writers here at Sunshine Jen have been working nonstop during the month of January to generate story ideas and general musings. Even though we try to create a positive, harmonious and creative atmosphere for our writers, sometimes all they give us is literary ca-ca.
Since the great eye of happyrobot is turned toward Canada and South Carolina and lotsa babies (Go Baby Pony Go!), we figured now would be a good time to clean out our reject pile and shoo our birdies off into happyrobot land where they can fly free and hopefully not embarrass our writers too much.
A haiku for the album, FutureSex/LoveSounds by Justin Timberlake:
A mission to please
He's on a mission to please
A mission to please
Yes, we actually played the new Justin Timberlake album in our office. We found the haiku a bit too repetitive. Okay, we get it. He's on a mission to please. Must we say it three times?
Two Sentence Movie Review for Little Children by Todd Field:
Although the film is well-acted, I did not like it. I don't know why.
Why, oh why did the reviewer not like it? When pressed, she broke into tears and said 'I don't know! I don't know!' We sent her on a Starbucks run, and she never came back.
ATribute to Spider Solitaire
I play Spider Solitaire a lot. It is really fun.
The tribute stops there. Apparently, the writer got distracted and ended up playing Spider Solitaire.
The Best Day Ever
After reading the piece, we realized that The Best Day Ever was really not that great. We referred the writer of this piece to a Gawker piece on bad blog writing.
Post of A Thousand Curse Words
We fucking wanted to fucking write a god damn fucking post with a thousand god dam shitass asshole mother fucking curse words. However, we lost our god damn energy for that shit after the first god damn sentence. Fuck it.
Drunken Sex Orgy
Such a title is a tease, and Sunshine Jen is no tease. She's a flirt. Teases promise but can't deliver. Flirts just like to make people happy.
Untitled
As I hiked past the snow capped mountains of Malibu, I suddenly felt a zenlike calm. My feet became lighter, and my back became straighter. Maybe we are all united on this planet, and maybe all we need is a common cause to unite each and every one of us as humans. I wondered what that cause would be. For a second, I thought I had it, but then it was gone. . .
This piece then went on to describe in great detail the rocks and cacti along the path. It had serious yawn factor.
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