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Art Colony: the fugly tea set
Monday, August 29, 2005
› by victoria
So this was our last weekend before school started. Which it did, this morning, and I got up along with Biff at 6:10 AM in the morning and it was weird because I felt like I was watching myself get ready for school in the morning back in the day. Except that Biff was picky about clothes because all of his favorite t-shirts and pants were dirty, whereas I used to be picky about clothes because I wanted to look "cool." (*ditching the goal of looking "cool" was one of the best ideas I have ever had).
We are totally doing the laundry tonight. It's an emergency.
But anyways, so this was our last weekend before school started, and on Saturday morning, we went out with every intention of picking up a package that had been Fed Ex'd to us. We assumed it would be something of value/practicality. Like money, or financial aid forms, stuff like that. We go into the Fed Ex place down at the airport, and the nice lady behind the counter assumes that the big box is a wedding present for us, and we smile, and barely outside of the store in the car we cut the box open with Biff's pocket knife, bursting with the barely-contained frenetic energy of children on Christmas. And then we open the box.
It contains the fugliest tea set I have ever seen. Not only does this tea set look like it was made by someone to whom the concept of fine pottery was unknown--the blobby cups, the lumpy teapot with its spout protruding at an obscene angle--but the painting on it is hideous as well. Huge paintbrush smears of dusky rose and faded blue against the ugly speckled-dull-gray background of what looks like clay that's been made using recycled newsprint.
The best part is that it looks like the fugly tea set had been attacked by a bunch of rugby players with a sledgehammer. It was entirely smashed up into bits. Even the spout of the teapot.
So after we had gotten out our feelings of frustration in various cathartic displays, Jill gave us the clever plan of getting shipping insurance money from Fed Ex because clearly, even though his parents mailed us a fugly tea set, it musn't have been all broken up into shards when they mailed it.
So we will do that sometime this week! and in the meantime, since our school starts today, I'm just hoping that everything goes alright. Biff's advisor set him up a schedule in which his mondays emulates my tuesdays--10 hours straight of classes...so hopefully that healthy bagel with hummus, green apple, and can of Red Bull will get him through the day.
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