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Cootie Girl: Ok Temp work doesn't suck that much
10.11.2002
Thanks to "some guy" who commented on my temping nightmare, I had to re-think the lists I started. There really is no reason to want to kill oneself on a temp job since obviously you are there for some reason be it money or that you are a sadist. I also got rid of how to avoid temp jobs because that is simple - don't go. However, I thought my list on how to kill oneself while at a temp job was funny. NOTE: this will be the last time I talk about temp work, from now on it's just freelance work for me.
How to kill oneself while at a temp job:
1. Bash yourself with desk items like the computer or phone. I found the tape dispenser works best because of the sand in the case gives that extra oomph.
2. Paper cuts and lots of them. You have all types of paper around you why not mix it up a bit. Try the glue side of an envelope, the sticky side of a post-it note, or good old fashion manila folders. You can get personal and use the company's stationary if you are really committed to going out this way.
3. Eat office supplies. Come on think about it. Interesting - no?
4. Get yourself jammed in the copy machine. Paper does it all the time so this shouldn't be that hard to do. If the marketing department is printing 237,000 copies of their proposals/media kits, you might want to find a fax machine or shredder.
5. Stick a paperclip in an electrical socket. Go for one that is in a wall not the surge plug since that might prevent you from getting shocked.
Also, be sure you leave your timesheet and a note where to send your check. I mean you don't have to lose good hard-earned money just because you tried to kill yourself.
