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Cootie Girl: Grammy Predictions from a Non-Critic
2.21.2003
Once again, I have surrendered the cootie column to my friend Michele for her Grammy picks ... take it away Michele.
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Grammy predictions are a dime a dozen. If you want serious talk from haughty critics, check out Entertainment Weekly or People Mag. Instead, I've chosen to focus on the real underdogs of the ceremony. No, I'm not referring to Nickelback, but the pre-ceremony stuff. All the awards that get listed right before the commercial breaks...the shizzle dizzle, fo' sho.
But before I begin, I'm gonna give a quick rundown of my major category predictions - just to, you know, cover my bases. So here it goes:
RECORD OF THE YEAR - Norah Jones "Don't Know Why"
ALBUM OF THE YEAR - Bruce Springsteen "The Rising"
SONG OF THE YEAR - Bruce Springsteen "The Rising"
BEST NEW ARTIST - Norah Jones
BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM - Norah Jones "Come Away With Me"
BEST ROCK ALBUM - Bruce Springsteen "The Rising"
The variety is just amazing, isn't it?! (Yawn)
Now onto the meat... The following are just a few "not good enough for the ratings" categories I handpicked for review. Since Grammy ignores them, I figured I'd give them some time to shine.
BEST POP INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM
Norman Brown - Just Chillin'
Kenny G - Paradise
Boney James - Ride
John Tesh - The Power Of Love
Kirk Whalum - The Christmas Message
While I do believe Teshy knows the power of love, Boney James is sure to edge him out. His name alone warrants some kind of prize.
BEST RAP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP
AZ Featuring Nas - The Essence
Big Tymers - Still Fly
Busta Rhymes Featuring P. Diddy & Pharrell - Pass The Courvoisier Part II
Cam'Ron Featuring Juelz Santana - Oh Boy
OutKast Featuring Killer Mike - The Whole World
Everyone loves Busta, Pharrell & Courvoisier. I know I do. Just pretend P. Diddy doesn't exist, and you've got a win.
BEST LATIN JAZZ ALBUM
Jane Bunnett - Alma De Santiago
Caribbean Jazz Project - The Gathering
Duduka Da Fonseca - Samba Jazz Fantasia
John Santos and the Machete Ensemble - S.F. Bay
Omar Sosa - Sentir
While Jane Bunnett's name is neither latin nor jazz, she is on the same label as Norah Jones (see above). So I'm gonna go with her.
BEST CONTEMPORARY SOUL GOSPEL ALBUM
Commissioned - The Commissioned Reunion "Live"
Eartha - Sidebars
Deitrick Haddon - Lost And Found
Fred Hammond - Speak Those Things: POL Chapter 3
BeBe Winans - Live And Up Close
I'm all about BeBe. Why? Because everyone loves the Winans. Voting against her is analogous to voting against God.
BEST TEJANO ALBUM
David Lee Garza y Los Musicales - Estamos Unidos
Little Joe & La Familia - Celebration Of Life - Volume One - Live
Emilio Navaira - Acuerdate
Mingo Saldivar y Sus Tremendos Cuatro Espadas - A Taste Of Texas
Siggno - Por Amor
Much to my surprise, neither Selena nor J-Lo was nominated in this category. So I'm lost. Selena was from Texas though...so my bets are on the Mingo guy.
BEST POLKA ALBUM
Eddie Blazonczyk's Versatones - My Father's Shoes
Jerry Darlak And The Touch - Let The Good Times Roll
LynnMarie - The Polka Record
Walter Ostanek & His Band - Good Time Polkas & Waltzes
Jimmy Sturr - Top Of The World
My Hungarian father plays the accordion, so I have the ingrained notion that all good polka music comes from Eastern Europe. As such, I've decided to choose the most borschkitzekisla-sounding nominee. My pick: Eddie Blazonczyk's Versatones.
Tune in to CBS on Sunday at 8 p.m. EST to see how I fare. You'll have to watch closely though, since these awards will flash by you in an instant.
Wish me luck! (Kelly's promised to buy me a digital camera if I score 6 out of 6...)
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Um yeah Michele right ... like I have money for a digital camera.
Oh and THANK YOU RICH for the new cootie girl "look". You like? I do!
