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Cootie Girl: A new, New Yorker
7.1.2003
So you always hear (or seen portrayed in movies) that New Yorkers in general are all bitter annoyed folks that like to curse and just be down right rude. Well I am here to tell you as a NATIVE NEW YORKER that we are not in fact rude people. I actually am surprised at how much patience and control I have with my own rage and for the past 31 years I have kept it well under control (ok except for that one time in Time Square) - but other than that I have been a pleasant friendly New Yorker. It is true that we do like the name calling on occasion - example when you are cut off in traffic you might say "HEY FUCKFACE!" (but does that only happen in NYC - I don't think so) or if someone cuts you in line at the deli when you are starving and ready to order you favorite sandwich you might say "BACK OFF BEOTCH I'm NEXT" (again I doubt this only happens in NYC). The only true way to know you are dealing with a New Yorker is when they are called a name and they just completely ignore it because quite honestly New Yorkers just don't give a shit. Therefore, you see it really isn't the rudeness or the name calling that makes you a New Yorker - it is the complete lack of acknowledgement for someone that is either trying to ask you a question or cursing you out. Who cares about the random stranger? To a New Yorkers it's usually their world, your just there for a visit or cameo.
Recently I have been called asshole by some 20 something's, which I actually find very funny and I was yelled at in the movie theater by a couple for laughing out loud to the new Matrix movie (was it not meant to be a comedy?). But enough about me this post is about welcoming the newest New Yorker- Tricia.
Tricia originally hails from Denton Texas but as of last Thursday June 26th at approximately 6:23pm in the evening, Tricia became a New Yorker. How did this happen you ask. Well being a school night Tricia and I decided to have some after work cocktails. It was such a lovely day I suggested we take a bus downtown instead of the steamy smelly subway. The 14A bus was crowded and very slow and while standing there amongst the others we questioned our choice of transportation. The delays were obviously cutting into our valuable drinking time. A seat opened up and Tricia took it not knowing there was a large bra-less woman standing behind her eyeing the seat. As Tricia sat down the woman simply called her a jerk and moved to the front of the bus to grab another empty seat. Tricia didn't see the woman (but quite honestly, we were making fun of her cause she really needed a bra so I doubt if Tricia had seen her, she would have given up the seat). I laughed and Tricia didn't know why.
Me: "You didn't hear her? She just called you a JERK!"
Tricia: "Really?"
Me: "yeah"
Tricia: "Why?"
Me: "she wanted the seat."
Tricia: "how do you know?"
Me: "She was behind you eyeing it like a rabid dog."
Tricia: "I didn't see her. how was I supposed to know she was behind me?"
Me: "I know"
Tricia: "that bra-less woman just called me a JERK? That is too funny."
Me: "I know"
Both: laughing
Me: "I think you just had a NY moment"
Tricia: laughing
Me: "Wait, I think this actually makes you a New Yorker now!"
Tricia: "Did she really say JERK?"
Me: "YES! Does that bother you?"
Tricia: "No."
Me: "Aw you are a New Yorker! I'm so proud."
Both: laughing
