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Cootie Girl: when I grow up
8.6.2004
I have been thinking a lot lately about my choices in life and realized that I am not the happiest person. I am sick of my dead end job, I am sick of my living situation, and I am sick of my social life (or lack thereof). I think all of this sickness is really making me sick, you know work stress, living stress, life stress has finally taken its toll on this 32 pushing 33 year old woman.
When I was applying for colleges - wait strike that when I applied to college (yeah I was the loser that only filled out ONE application, thank god I got in) final question on the submission form was "write and essay on what you wanted to be when you grow up". I remember I started the essay with some idea that I wanted to be a teacher (isn't that every little girls first ideal job) and then went through all my "phases" like the time I wanted to be a drummer or the time I wanted to be a radio DJ. I somehow got accepted into the school and they placed me in the teachers program for math. Can you imagine me, ME as a math teacher? Within the first semester I switched into the Computer Science program because I was all about making money and figured computers was the way to go - especially since I wasn't taking any drumming lessons. I was a really good computer programmer (with some help from my good friend Pat) and should have landed a programming job out of school but didn't want to be corporate Kelly with stockings and all so I took the first easy going job that came along my way. The job was in publishing which sounds fun and interesting but let me tell you when people find out your not a writer or designer they could care less what you do. In many of my jobs I was/am the person that makes sure the damn magazines get published but that didn't matter because I wasn't actually involved in the creative end of the process. I stayed with that company for 7.5 years and learned a lot but never thought my job was fulfilling.
Now as I think back on those days I really should have continued my education right after college. I almost minored in art but never completed the extra courses to get that extra billing on my diploma. I should have put myself in a computer art program right away because by now I would be doing special effects in movies or commercials. Something I think I would be happiest doing at this very moment. I am currently looking into taking some art courses to get a portfolio together so I can get into a MBA program for computer art. But then I think it might be just a tad too late for me to re-invent my career. By the time I get my degree I'll be pushing 40 (if I'm not already) and well can you see me as a 40 something year old intern for Lucas Entertainment?
At this rate I am never gonna grow up, especially after this past weekend when I went to the Curiosa festival out on Randall's Island. I magically transported back to 1987-1994 without the help of drugs and realized that was my happiest times of my life (to date). The show was AWESOME. The Rapture - a band I hadn't heard of until Friday when Sean sent me the Cd to listen to - then couldn't get the damn thing off of repeat - RAWKED the house. They had one freaky dancing member that played the cow bell, sax and keyboards and he just reminded me of Bez from the Happy Mondays/Black Grape fame. At that point I was like Veruca Salt and wanted one for my very own. No seriously I want my own Bez to follow me around with a pair of maracas and give me drugs and make me dance on a whim. Interpol were ok ... they were a little disappointing actually they kept playing new songs from an album that is not out yet. As my friend Sean says "stick to the hits kids" and we will all be happy. The Cure ... what could I say ... I was like a little kid all over again. I got excited when I saw Rodger walking on the side of the stage just an hour before they went on. I was giddy and happy and at that very moment when Robert walked on stage big hair, makeup and all I went nuts. I remember why I loved them so - they just ROCK - they can cheer you up, make you cry, sing you a love song or put you in a creepy dreamy Edward Gorey kind of mood. How could I ever love them more?
So maybe it was my day out in the sun wearing all black and being dehydrated that made me a little delirious or something but I decided what I really want to be when I grow up. I want to be a Roadie! Think about it. You get to travel from city to city with a fun band (I would only work for fun cool bands none of these teen dream bands or Celine Dion) and get as much tail as you can handle. You know wherever I lay my hat is my home. No stings anywhere, no cares, just work, play, tail - who wouldn't want that job!
Ok it's decided I'm never growing up.
