Yeah you, gold SUV parked across the street from my window. Remember last night when it was all stormy outside and something spooked you real bad because you started to wail like no tomorrow. Was it those mean kids blasting cherry bombs near you? Or were you really that scared of the thunder last night? Was that loud banging noise even thunder? You probably didn't realize that I had just gone to bed a little past 2:00am. The first time I was awoken was about 3:15am when I heard some loud noise and then you started that sweet oh so pleasant cry. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP .......... (silence for a few seconds - ah) ....... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (roll over and put pillow over my head) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (hard to breath so I had to move pillow) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP what the fuck man now the sound of the rain is making me have to pee - which means I now have to get up. Man it's cold - I should get my blanket while I am up.
I don't want to be rude baby but I have to get some sleep do you think you can keep it down? .... (silence every 22 BEEP's WTF are you trying to fake me out?) .... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP .... So damn tired must have slept because the next time I heard you it was 4:32 .... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP ..... 5:11 and I got to pee again this sucks .... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP damn should I call 311? BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP this is getting ridiculous if you don't keep it down I am going to have to beat you with a bat - I SWEAR!
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP ..... 5:55 clock radio goes off but I must have hit the snooze because I don't even notice and fall right back to sleep. 6:00am alarm on clock goes off for the 1st time but I snooze it - 6:07 snooze - 6:14 snooze - 6:21 snooze - 6:28 BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP damn baby have you been up all night? BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP you sound a little hoarse are you OK? BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP - 6:35 shut clock alarm off turn radio on roll over on back and listen to the news while you go on BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP 6:55 get out of bed and jump into the shower before I feel compelled to jump out of window to beat you (don't worry I am on the ground floor - besides I don't own a bat).
8:10 I walk out of my apartment building to go to work - sleep deprived and cranky and there you are flashing your lights BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP (pause) BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP you look so nice and shinny and snuggled right between those two other cars I really don't know why you were crying all night. I walk to the bus stop almost two blocks away and I can still hear you ... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP - I swore that if you were still going when I got home from work I was gonna egg you. I can see that you haven't left but you must have lost your voice. Let's hope your battery died and won't revive in the middle of the night to haunt me BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP because I warned you - you will get egged. You or those damn kids with the cherry bombs - whoever wakes me tonight wins!
