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Cootie Girl: the V.D. check list
2.14.2006
1. wake up an hour late
2. shower , shave legs/pits, brush teeth
3. if it's a good day, shave naughty bits too
4. put on some makeup (if it's THAT kind of day double up) same goes to styling hair to new heights
5. wear slutty red underwear (today your bra's and panties MUST match)
6. all other wardrobe must be black so you can let the others know that you are mourning your social life
7. clear away space on your desk for Valentine flowers and/or gifts
8. by 3pm realize that you were never getting flowers/gifts today because the boys around you all are married and/or gay
9. decide not to go out tonight, even if it's just to go to the new vampire movie because you still have a bit of that cold and you just want to go to bed early
10. by 5pm regret shaving naughty bits for no reason
11. spend the bus ride home watching happy couples walk the streets with twinkles in their eyes and wish you can throw stones at them
12. get a phone call that night and/or a card in the mail that makes you smile
13. change the sheets on your bed so you can celebrate "clean sheet night" instead
14. take a nice long bubble bath with special water toys
15. take a pill (preferably a valium or xanax) and go to bed happy!
(rinse and repeat next year!)
