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Nutshell Kingdom: Bill O'Reilly is a cowardly meatbag; that other Fox Christmas guy is just a lunatic
2005
I'm working at a temp job with nothing to do all day so I naturally begin scouring the internets for unpleasant news storylines that I can obsess over thus allowing me to feel something/anything, much like the information equivalent of sticking pins in your fingers out of sheer boredom.
The topic today is the War on Christmas.
Just this morning, I have read almost anything I could find on this not-so-profound cultural debate and I have learned that I hate myself. I really must.
So...I was at the little cafe place buying a bowl of soup for lunch. "Deck the Halls" was on the stereo, but an instrumental version. Is this offensive to someone? I have no idea.
I am really angry at all this crap. Also, I am really angry at myself for even noticing such crap. It isn't real. Obviously. I have been a prominent liberal atheist for years - I would know if we had launched our plot against Christmas. Not to say we don't have a plot, - we do - it's just that it doesn't go into effect for another five years.
I sent Bill O'Reilly an email addressing my concerns and offering to shove a baby Jesus up his butt. He hasn't responded - which of course means that he is a cowardly meatbag who is well aware of the fictitiousness of his position and is too scared/ashamed to respond to my email. Obviously. Sad. I would love for him to come on the Nutshell and debate, but it seems that he is too frightened of a fair fight. Also, I refuse to let him plug his stupid books.
Scum.
