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Nutshell Kingdom: Reincarnation
2007
As a believer in reincarnation, I am blessed with an almost endless parade of lives spread out over what you could (incorrectly, but we'll let it go) call eternity. This is a good thing because I am having "one of those lives." You know how a day can get all befuddled - nothing reall bad happens, you just wake up fuzzy and the day progresses in hesitant fits and starts, dragging along over what seem to be endless under-caffeinated hours, nothing going quite right; inside you just feel groggy and stupid and the world whirls around you at a speed so exhilerating you cannot hope to keep up, so you sit back and watch, maybe blow your nose (persistent cold symptoms), and finally, silently go back to your modest rented home and lay on the couch, turn on the television and finally welcome the too-slow call of sleep which comes to you, rather than you going to it. Well, I am having one of those days, but instead of lasting a day, it is lasting a lifetime.
Opportunities come and you reach out for them, but being slow and too clumsy, they move through your fingers. Happiness and fulfillment spread out like spilled salt on a counter top that will not be wiped away ; sadness and disappointment linger like the stickiness on the floor following a massive soda spill. Help is what you need, but help with what exactly? You are too dull-witted to articulate a request. Guide my hand, settle my mind, hold my hand, throw me in the shower and sober me up, anything, everything, whatever. All requests end in a frustrated "whatever."
Thank god for the soul, which needs no accomplishments and accepts no credit or blame. It is what it is and will continue ad infinitum from this life, ruined as it may feel, into the next, unknown and positively shimmering with possibility.
