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2001:October:25
10.25.2001
Adam's zaidie died this morning. his dad called at 5:30 am to tell us, but Adam was in Niagara-on-the-lake to see his friend's play.
I am not so sad for Adam as I am for his dad who, like many oldest sons, had a difficult relationship with his father.
For some reason I am equating that kind of unresolved death of a parent with something that children and parents struggle with all the time--you know--when a kid is out with their parent and they don't want to leave a place until they get something. So they whine, and kvetch and scream. And I know you have seen this one acted out: the parent fakes leaving--they walk away and say "by-ye" in this bright way, and the kid falls to the ground, arches the back, and screams some more, but then the fear kicks in. They open their eyes wide, look around and get up, running terrified after the parent, because nothing is worse than being left behind.
So maybe difficult parent-child relationships are like that. But when your folks get old and die (by-ye), you can't...well, you know.