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Pony: New Years Angst
1.3.2004
I ran into Mia at Dominion this eve and invited her back for some baguette and olives. Since I was 21, we have always launched into the heavier thoughts and ideas when we are together. I am, of course precoccupied with the future these days and wondering if I should be going to grad school next year, and wondering about all sorts of BIG things.
And it is hard to decide in the midst of the opposing and appealing ideas. My Grandmother always used to tell me to watch the way skinny people eat (I may have mentioned this before) because apparently they order the fried stuff but only eat half.
So my observances have told me to feast (life is short), to eat well/to eat little and think about where the food comes from, to read more/to absorb less information, to sit back and observe/to engage and be energetic, to posture and strive for a career trajectory/to be "real" and abandon ambition, to travel and see as much as possible/to stay still and grow roots, to separate milk from meat/to meditate with mantras, one life/many lives...
And out of this glut of information, I just want to focus on one system of thoughts and theory to undertand it wholly without the static of all the other competing schools of thought...to be among experts and develop expertise, but in the end of that road, I just fear that there will be someone who will want me to call him babu and pay him money.
Do you think it is true that enlightened people order everything on the menu, but only eat half?
