Pony: A patronizing letter to my Portugese neighbours
6.17.2004
Dear Portugese people celebrating the Euro cup in my neighbourhood.
Hey, I love this hood. I love the custard tarts. I even like the morbid easter parade. And the other parade. And that big thing you do in the park with the stage and the kiddie rides.
But meu deus, would you quit it with the horn honking? Yes, I understand there was some sort of soccer game in Europe that was victorious for your peeps in the old country. But that happened, like, 12 hours ago. And I can't sleep. i can't read. I can't even have a phone conversation because of your incessant honking and shouting and soccer talk outside my window.
Listen, I understand. We are not so different. My people are not the quiet sort either. We also like food (which would explain the blissful hour of semi-quiet as you all went home for dinner before resuming your victory circuit). But let me tell you, we appreciate a good night's sleep. Oy! It's a tonic.
