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Pony: Career ideas for Don Cherry
9.30.2004
Don Cherry: the verbose hockey pundit whose booming voice is matched only by his atomic suit colors has had a hard year. First his contract doesn't get renewed on Coach's Corner, then, as though in sympathy, the entire hockey season is cancelled. What's a celebrity blowhard to do? Well, I have a couple of ideas, but don't go stealin' my briliant brainwaves:
GWB debates Don Cherry
This morning I was listening to the news and I thought I heard that Dubya is debating Don Cherry before I realised they had said John Kerry. Then I thought to myself: Why not? Hell, there are a lot of people who hope that niether of their contracts will get renewed. They both have called the French sissies. And they both want to up the violence in their respective sports, but fight by proxy. They have both been accused of destroying the very thing they purport to love most. They probably are aligned on most issues, mind you, but with the NHL strike, Cherry is going to have a lot of pent-up rage and an urge to pontificate on issues beyond the boys of winter. The debate will come to an abrubt end and the secret service will step in after Cherry "shirts" dubya for insulting his tie (he believed he was referring to Domi)
Welcome Back Khadr:
Don Cherry plays the angry, exasperated, but otherwise loveable teacher of those wacky Khadr kids who have returned from the Afghanistan training camp. He teaches them to channel their disaffection with society and their pedestalization of extremists into one Xtreme game of Hockey. Ron Maclean plays the befuddled principal and social worker who becomes the hapless victim to the pranks of the Khadr kids.
