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Pony: My record of being a media whore
5.28.2008
I have a hard time saying no. I guess I must be an exhibitionist, because I always say yes when people ask me to be a subject. There was the Canadian Film Centre brochure. And then their ad campaign.
And then there was that time I went on the radio to talk about getting HIV/Aids tests. I did Rannie’s awesome “My Toronto Includes”
Oh yeah, and BOOK TV. And Zed. And BlogTO.
And of course there is this blog, filled with seven years worth of personal stories sitting out there in the public sphere. I have gotten a few anonymous comments saying, Stop writing about your boring life. Who the hell cares!
To which I would answer: Well, obviously not you. Move along, now.
Recently I said yes to be a subject on being a parent and living downtown for Toronto Life. I knew the article was going to be provocative. I knew that it was going to take the piss out of the whole holier-than-thou parent culture. And I thought it would be fun.
My quote was (see page 4): "When I was hugely pregnant, few people would give me their seat on the Queen streetcar—like they were practising selective blindness. These days I have a big, honkin’ all-weather stroller that only just fits onto the streetcar; the driver or another passenger has to help me on and off. So when people have to squeeze by or when Gabriel starts screaming, I view it as payback."
It was actually truncated – it was supposed to end with “Not that I’m a vengeful person – vengeance is a a terrible thing teach your child”.
The other day I ran into a friend who asked: “Are you OK? I hear they are totally ripping into you online.” It took me a moment to realize she was talking about that article. So I went online and read the comments.
People thought I was poker-faced serious, and they were furious. They actually thought that I had gone out and gotten a big stroller just to punish the law-abiding transit riders. At first I was miffed. Then I thought it was hilarious and not so bad. After all, I had made myself a subject, and in doing so, I had opened myself up to personal attack.
Gentle readers, there is something you should never underestimate, and that is how incredibly literal-minded the majority of the population is. People either don’t *get* irony and satire, or they don’t give others credit for using them. I am sure that had I said childless people should be forced to wear funny hats and ride the back of the bus, they would have been just as convinced I was making serious commentary.
A couple of weeks later I was reading that Emily Gould article on her life in blogging in the New York Times. And then I read the comments. And while the article was fun, zeitgeist-y ('though perhaps journalistically slight,) but most of the commenters decided to attack the author personally. And they were horrifically cruel (did anyone else pick up on the misogyny?), in the way that only people leaving anonymous comments online can be (and if you have ever been part of a newsgroup or an online forum, you will know what I am talking about when I say that the stuff people will say when they are not held to face-to-face account is appalling).
The weirdest part was that no one gave her credit for self-awareness or heard self-deprecation in her tone. It made me so sad.
I am (obviously) not trying to compare my sporadic blog posts and participation in local media to Emily’s career at Gawker, but I am going to think twice before saying yes to making myself a subject again. Outside of here on pony, of course, where most of you can tell when I’m joking. Can’t you?
