My brother
Oh, siblings. How often have I punched my brother and been punched by him. Although not recently, which is good, as he is quite large.
Sixth Grade Kid with Odd Last Name
This guy’s last name was so odd that I bet I could find him on the internet search engine in seconds.
(Seconds later and I didn’t find him. His last name turns out to be the name of a town in India, which skewed the results. But, I may have found him. He either tragically passed away or is a brainy professor. Let’s hope for the later.)
Here’s the hilarious bit about the kid in the sixth grade with the odd last name: I started that fight.
Me.
I may have weighed 30 pounds. My jeans had a crease in them. I was probably wearing K-Swiss. The other kids were fighting and I guess I thought I should be fighting as well.
This was the first time I was punched in the face and I distinctly remember thinking, “Oh crap. That hurt.”
Kid Named Robert #1
I lost this fight. It actually didn’t go very long and we ended up just kind of wrestling. I may have gotten one punch in.
Kid Named Robert #2
Note that both these same-named kids were sporting early-teen mustaches.
Bad sign.
This fight may have been at most one punch each and then his mom came out to break up the fight. She instantly sized up the participants and yelled at me, “Go home little boy!”
*Sigh*
Stupid Friends
Even though you are BFFs, eventually you get in a fight and that even happened with my dear friend George. Maybe once or twice; there were a few scuffles.
There was this other friend, who in hindsight, may have had some anger issues and loved to kick. WTF? Kicking? Whatever. I assume/hope I landed a punch or two on him when he went kicky-loco.
Some Guy at a Bonfire
I punched some guy at a bonfire after I realized that he and my then (or ex (I don’t recall)) girlfriend were making out mere feet from me. It sucked, but the ride home was entertaining and I was introduced to John Lee Hooker via cassette tape.
The One I Probably Shouldn’t Talk About
At university I was kind of beat up by a ‘friend’. I may have landed one punch.
Oh, it was a screwy night. Buy me a drink.
A Dell Laptop
One weekend, the server for the phones at work went down. They were rebooting the phone server and I somehow was the only person in the city that weekend so I was asked to make sure everything came back online. Not to get into too many details, but the phones didn’t come back up and the vendor for the phones and the company who installed them spent hours blaming each other. I was on a cell phone (Verizon, actually) that kept dropping the calls to them because our office is a cell phone nightmare (I had to use the cell phone since all the phones were of course offline). It went on and on and I couldn’t get any help and at a very low point I basically punched the laptop I was working on. Smashed the screen.
I made my boss fund a fancy steak dinner afterwards. Hellish weekend.
That’s really it.
I can’t think of anyone else I have punched.
Apart from stunt bike punching.
