Junk Email in my Cat's Inbox Mrs. Robot and I were talking about funny spam email subject lines that our cat would get if she had her own email address (and if cats could use computers). I started compiling a list, but then I realized that there would be two types of spam:
1. the spam that is totally inappropriate for the cat. Like I always get 'refinance your home' emails and I am just renting. These would be the emails that my cat would think, "what the hell? Why did I get this?"
2. Cat based emails. See, these would be funny because they would be like normal spam, but with a cat POV.
Here we go...
Inappropriate Ones 1. Do you love water? 2. Online Dog Food Delivery 3. See these dogs in h*e*a*t go at it 4. hot bitches 5. Like chasing cats?
Cat Based 1. HOT Photos of new couches 2. Empty boxes and paper bags - cheap! 3. See pictures of cocky mice doing whatever they want 4. String! 5. Cheap WHOLESALE Crinkly Paper 6. This Squirrel wants to talk to you 7. Get a longer tail TODAY! 8. Free Babies - Steal their breath now! 9. ** I WANT TO FEED YOU TUNA ** 10. Nigerian Government Official wants to give you a treat.
Harpers The new Harpers is good. The lead article is ten questions for Mr. Bush. The author points out how in dealing with Iraq, the UN can't do anything right diplomatically - but in regards to North Korea, we let the UN handle it.
Iraq 1. really far away 2. may or may not have nuclear weapons 3. probably doesn't have missiles that can reach the US mainland 4. the UN are idiots 5. the ruler is a tyrant and kills his own citizens 6. let's invade them
North Korea 1. far away, but not that far away 2. maybe already has a few nuclear weapons, maybe not - either way, they are making some as we speak 3. may not have missiles that can reach US, but have plenty that can reach other countries. Not being too shy about testing the missiles 4. the UN really should handle this one - diplomacy is really their thing. 5. the ruler is a tyrant and kills his own citizens 6. we should let the UN do their work
sorry. I forgot that Neal Pollack said that we should all shut about the war. Lips sealed. But, this is a mess. Anyone think we might be walking into another Somalia?
Quick thoughts then I will shush:
1. on the news, the US troops seem to all say, "Hurry and do this so that we can get home". I completely understand that feeling, but I am not sure that is the right attitude for our troops. You have one side who is thinking, "Hurry up so we can get home" and the other side who is thinking, "This army is rolling in to blow up my homeland". I hope I am totally wrong on this. 2. in the Gulf War I was all like, "we are totally going to get our ass kicked". Remember the commentators who were all like, "the Iraqi troops are dug in and willing to fight to the death - they have chemical weapons - they are dedicated". I was wrong.
My office neighbor The nice girl next door went on this trip to Brazil a while back. She met this guy who swept her off her feet there. They write back and forth and today he says, "Move to Brazil". And she is all torn up on what to do and comes into my office and tells me the story. I have a box of fortune cookies (thanks Lisa!) on my desk and she took one. The cookie says: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one simple step"
Not that I would ever trust a cookie's advice, but this one was a little twilight-zonie (maybe you had to be here).
