Christmas Cougar! Sunday, Mrs. Robot and I gave each other Christmas gifts. We usually do this before going home so we don't have to tote stuff back and fourth - and our families don't feel bad that we buy about ten times more stuff for each other than we do for them. Sorry, family. That's just how it is.
I got underwear, gloves, a zippy sweater, two gift certificates for a fancy shave at an old school barber shop and a bunch of other great things including the book 'Cat Attacks: True Stories and Hard Lessons from Cougar Country'. A book all about cougar attacks. Awesome.
Check the great cover art. I find myself yelling 'focus! focus!' whenever I look at it. Focus!
They'll eat your babies Sunday afternoon when I was supposed to be packing, cleaning, and putting away laundry I found myself in our sunny bedroom on the bed reading this book. I suspect the main appeal of cougars is their great late 70's feel. I seem to remember all these California based shows in the 70's and 80's would always have a cougar or two in them. And the word 'cougar' has such a great retro, ironic feel to it.
I also have a cousin who just bought a house in the mountains above Denver and has mentioned how her pets have to stay inside because she has bears and coyotes and cougars and slack-jawed yokels wandering around the area.
What I have learned in the past few weeks of reading cougar attack stories: they like to eat the kids - especially ones that run ahead of the group on their own. Also, many stalk their prey for a long time before revealing themselves - that spooks me.
Long Talk After reading some of the book, I sat down and had a long talk with Senorita Robot Cat. Here's a transcript:
ME: Listen, I want to talk to you about.... Um, how do I say this... "your people"
CAT: (squirming to get down)
ME: If I were your size, would you attack and kill me? Is the only thing stopping you because I am much bigger?
CAT: (really squirming and making whiny noises)
ME: Then what you are saying is that it's the size/power thing that is the only thing stopping you from killing me?
CAT: (play bites my arm)
ME: Fine.
CAT: (Jumps down, runs across room. Stares at wall.)
As seen on Space Ghost Judy Tenuta: Space Ghost, you must remember one thing: friends are just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you!
Happy Holidays I'll be incommunicado for a few days. But know that I still love you. Much like Jeebus does.
