First
Are we supposed to keep these for any reason? I mean, other than being hilarious fodder to read to your spouse while making dinner?
I figure the depression from reading it is enough - after that it goes into the paper shredder bin.
Second
Background.
As many of my close and dear friends know I am an EARNER!
I make money.
Trash bags full.
Bags of filthy money.
At work they call me M.C. McEarner-a-lot.
Earning in the 80's: 1987
The report starts in the great year of 1987.
Hurricane Beulah hits Texas and televangelist Jim Bakker resigns from PTL.
Hillary Duff is born, the Smiths break up and Love & Rockets releases "Earth, Sun, Moon" which I play too often.
It's also the year I take a step into the official workplace and pull in a tantalizing $1,169 for the year.
Yes, that wasn't a typo!
I made 1,169.00 bucks of wicked greenbacks and lived large that year.
You should of seen the ill fitting clothing I bought.
1988
I was on a roll. I bet I was finally driving a car at this point (I was late getting my drivers license) and girls were letting me make out with them on a bit of a normal schedule since I was pulling down a hefty $1,896 that year.
Almost 2 G's ladies!
Hell to the yea.
1989
I had left home. Struck out on my own. Off to college.
A man.
A man who made $826.00.
Was that the summer I waited on a table?
(no, not "tables" - the restaurant was really really slow)
1990
This is the big time. It ain't no "1980" shit no more. The 80's were out and the 90's were in. Where we kept it real.
Cuz it was the 90's.
In this grand year I pulled in a walloping $82.
Nah, that isn't a typo! I was keeping it real!
(Or as real as Mom & Dad allowed me to)
1991
So you are thinking, "This is all nice and interesting. I've always found Rich to be quite the earner and go-getter, and apart from being dashing and sexy in that smoldering way, I am sure 1990 was a fluke and he will start bringing in the real money that we all expect from him."
Well, you'd be wrong. 1991 was an awesome year, not only because I could legally drink in most countries and went to awesome rock shows and made out with Mrs. Robot for the first time - but it was also awesome that I accomplished that on my yearly income of....
wait for it...
here it comes....
$0.00
1992
Here I am wooing Mrs. Robot.
Sweet talking her and trying to get her to forget to wear clothes.
I am no chump. I realize that she is a classy lady.
She deserves the best. I can't afford to have my lady eat only slices and wear clothing bought at rock shows.
That year I pulled in $1,873 - sadly not ever beating out my old record from 1988.
Factor in a little inflation and it was probably even crappier than what I made in 1988.
Sums up
But, really. Did I make $0.00 in 1991?
How did I afford striped shirts and plaid shorts? How did I afford Polvo records? How did I afford beer?
