Ex #1
Former female teen stunt bike champ who I competed against in the “Batalla de los sexos” stunt bike competition in the 1970s.
Ex #2
She had this Olivia Newton John haircut and her family bred some sort of show dog. I didn’t realize that we had been dating until she broke up with me.
Ex #3
Your sexy sister.
Ex #4
I had an erotic dream about her in the 4th grade
Ex #5
I thought smoking would be cool. It wasn’t.
Ex #6
We took a court mandated drivers education course together. We’d take long walks to the gas station down the street for snacks and sodas during the break and make out in the little park. I never saw her again and sometimes wonder if it all really happened.
Also, I get the irony of my having to take a drivers education course when I was a professional stunt bike rider.
Ex #7
While making out in the woods, we heard someone clear his throat. We turned around and a man was standing there with a camera on a tripod.
Ex #8
We held hands in pre-school.
Ex #9
This relationship didn’t work because she actually liked me.
Ex #10
After the “Batalla de los sexos”, I spent a whirlwind week in Mexico City with Ex #1’s assistant mechanic. She smelled earthy.
Like wet leaves. And dirt. But in the good way.
Ex #11
She was the sexy co-star of mine when I starred in the “Batalla de los sexos” made-for-TV movie. I have a crappy sense of direction when in LA, and I spent most of our time together being lost on windy roads in the mountains trying to find her little house (and avoiding mountain lions (an issue when on a stunt bike (believe it or not))).
She sneezed a piece of hot dog out of her nose once.
Ex #12
Suddenly I found myself making out with her. In the middle of a very well lit room. With lots of people around. Gawking.
Six hours later we had broken up.
Ex #13
She was in my college math class and was very exotic. She asked if I wanted to study with her. Apparently “study” was a euphemism.
That brings up the question: can you really study math? I am more of a “just do it” math kind of guy.
I guess that technique worked in my favor in this case.
True fact: I don’t remember her name.
Ex #14
In a dusty parking lot there was groping in the front seat of a car.
Ex #15
I held on for too long. That was a phase I went through. Not giving up. Stupid phase.
Once she punched me in the jaw. By accident. Allegedly.
Ex #16
It was more of an anatomy class than a relationship. In the back of the tour bus after my stunt bike competitions. She was a stunt bike groupie.
