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What to say... que faire... feels like a death in the family and that the plantation master has been set out of the prison and on to the throne. People are braying, I'm sure. Here, it's quiet as a mouse. Some runners just ran by. It's not common to have exercisers here, so I take it as a healthy sign. I'm feeling scarce, but I'm still going to blow it all out in the coming weeks - I have my obscure friend visiting, and I'll be birthdaying in the only place I was ever happy.
My tone in my head is wistful and sad. My aunt called me crying yesterday. It made me feel honored that she turned to me. My insane friend from UGA, Eric, taunted me on the book of faces again. I've had a cup of caffeine, but I still feel so tired. I've slept ten hours and the same. I wonder if I should add more expenses to my life and just get a fookin teevee, but I can't seem to pull that trigger - although I'd be watching YouTube and criterion channel. Maybe after I come back. I still can't believe that I'd have a job and that I'm going to be ok. I had my resume sent to me yesterday and looked for mental health jobs. It's daunting when you feel you're a nut job, but look at the pres. the dude is every crazy Eric I've ever hated, and now he's smugly smiling in power.
I wonder if my ex-spouse #2 voted for Trump or just didn't vote. Those would be his patterns. I recall when I found out he was a fuck-tard, I slept on the sofa. The second time I slept on the sofa was when he said black people were treated the same as him. I'm glad that tall privileged white asshat is out of my life, but he's still in my life - he's the pro forma president. I don't really know what pro forma means, but I thought it looked nice in my sentence. The flavor of the semi-decade. Is it all a sports game? I'm hoping that I get to be happy for a day or two soon. It would feel good.
I'm still hella nervous about the houseguest. What do you do with no teevee to entertain with? But when I was at the wedding, we didn't really turn the boob tube on much. I suppose I think of the tv as a sucker of my attention, yet what attention does it really suck.
I'm going to go file my nails.
now you know.
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