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Nutshell Kingdom: The Sorcerer's Apprentice
2005
Did you ever put the coffee pot on crooked so that coffee would spill out over the counter while you helplessly tried to clean it with cheap paper towels that dripped that black-staining fluid all over the kitchen floor on the way from the counter to the trash can?
I knew a guy, we won't name him, who loved like that. His heart, oversaturated, would spill all over as he moved from place to place, trying to clean whatever accident he had brought on lately. It was too amusing. We'd stand there, hands on hips, with a bemused scolding look as he'd scramble, one paper towel after another, counter to sink, counter to sink. He could have moved the trash can closer, he could have shut off the coffeemaker, he should have unplugged the machine rather than risk the mild shocks he'd get occasionally, mid-wipe. But no - he'd just scramble about, confused, leaking from his very soul, all over everything.
He always reminded me of a Buster Keaton movie, or Mickey Mouse in 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice.'
He'd apologize but really...it was like a war criminal apologizing for a stutter. It was the least of his faults.
Breathe, my friend, just breathe.
Never mind. Fuck it. Don't breathe.