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Besides, you were a cantankerous no-touch mofo with the most severe resting bitch face - but you gave me a lot and for that I'm grateful.
It was a joy to play catch with someone again. Maybe if I had told you it was the last time I would have gotten to play a heady twice! I loved the rhythm of the back and forth and remembering that I was good at it.
Most cogently, my god in eternal heaven your mind threw me for a loop. I thought I had found the reward for all my pain. It makes me laugh/cry even thinking about it now. The last text I gave you was "you are the most interesting and intelligent man I have ever met" - and I didn't lie. I've gone through a great many men. I know what I'm talking about when I say you're the most fascinating. I was looking forward to unpeeling your layers and going to town on you. Now, I will just say that I'm so eternally grateful to know you exist - and perhaps there might even be more like you. I'll die trying... of course
And the high yield savings account. That was one of the most loving gestures anyone had given me. I loved when you made me sit down and go through the process of how I was to do it. It warmed my cockles. Thank you.
And Athens. You gave me an excuse to go back there. It rattled my cage for sure to see the ghosts of hope, but I truly appreciate the lure you were... and going to the fucking Globe - twice. I'll always regret not getting the curry, but maybe I'll go there without you one day.
Your house. It was lovely to have a peaceful moment where I felt welcome in someone's home and the screen door and all. Thank you.
Florida and Valdosta. I recall asking you if you even liked me, and your answer was "would I be asking you to go get my Mom's legacy in Florida if I didn't. My presence is my compliment to you." And even though you're gone now, I completely loved getting my bruised body in the water and floating in the swimming pool blue. It was so fun to let loose and drink Pina coladas and pretend to fall in love. And I'd never been to Valdosta before - thank you.
Going with me to my family. It is so cute to me to see that look of foolish happiness (whoa, here come the tears) on my pictured face from when you went to pine bluff with me. I usually have to do those kinds of events alone or with fucking dickhead #2. It was a joy to have you as my partner - and to have you get the speaker to work and smoke doobie with us. thank you for being adventurous.
And my electric toothbrush - I'm licking my teeth now appreciating how smooth and plaque free they are.
Cooking for you was so funny. I never knew that I could even care. It was a treat to try and cajole and impress you with my baked goods. I'm sorry that I never mastered biscuits or that the cookies were never as good as the first batch, but I sure did love trying for you.
And Macon - even though you kind of shat on the town, it was fun to explore and revisit places with you and see it from your eyes.
Walking in the woods with you ... you're wonderful, and I love you... it doesn't matter that you don't love me
I grieve what might have been. The maple leaves rustle in the wind. You were a human who spent time with me. You made me feel that wafting feeling of hope again.
I don't want to be your friend. I love you too weirdly, but I wish you all the happiness and dancing in the kitchen you could ever have.
ouch.
Thanks for the t-shirt, and the candle, and the acorn... and the mysteries...
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