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Cootie Girl: Lyrics for "The Most Offensive Song Ever"
2.2.2005
WARNING THE LYRICS ARE REALLY REALLY REALLY OFFENSIVE
I have a friend who really likes South Park and every year I get her one of those desk everyday calendars with photos of the kids from South Park. This year I wanted to get her something else and ended up picking up Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics CD. Turns out she has it already so I took it home and kept it for myself. I was listening to it the other day and there is one song that Mr Hankey sings with Kenny. If you ever watched the show you know you can never understand what Kenny says because he is covered up with his parker. I didn't know the title of the song all I can get from the lyrics was mumble mumble mumble MARY! I guess my curiosity got the best of me once I found out that the title of the song was "The Most Offensive Song Ever." I just had to see if the Lyrics to the song were posted anywhere .... again THE LYRICS ARE REALLY REALLY REALLY OFFENSIVE but I just have to share so here they are the lyrics to The Most Offensive Song Ever:
Howdy Ho.
Virgin Mary was sleepin'
When Angel Gabriel appeared
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother."
But Mary thought that was weird.
Mary said, "I'm not a virgin.
I blew a guy last year."
But then Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear."
Oh, you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the dick you want
And still not be considered flawed.
Although you went to town and sucked some semen down,
You're still a virgin in the eyes of God.
There was no room at the inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive.
But they were so very tired, you see,
And Mary had to offer a bride.
Since she had no money,
How would she pay for a place to sleep?
Gabriel appeared to Mary
And told her not to weep.
'Cause you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the dick you want
And still be the mother of Christ.
If there's no room at the inn, then it's not considered a sin
To suck some dick to get a room for the night!
Then, three wise men did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch
Mary thought she might pleasure them
But could not take them to bed.
But again, Gabriel appeared to her
And this is what he said:
"You can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
You can suck all the dick you want
Every one that hangs in the nation.
Fellatio ain't no sin. Go on and blow those Three Wise Men
And you'll still be a virgin 'cause there was no penetration!
So, you can suck all the dick you want
And still be a virgin, Mary.
The donkey and the ox and the lambs
And even the little drummer boy
People will remember your name quick. They'll say "Damn, that bitch could suck a good dick!"
'Cause sucking dick brings peace on Earth and joy.
[slowing] 'Cause sucking dick brings peace on Earth and [normal] joy.
Mary, Mary, suck that dick.
Please don't bitch if you are offended I did warn you! My only comment is DAMN I can't believe they get away with that!
