subway musical 
steven tyler photo 
jumping into tracks 
you tell him! 
cockroach 
empty car 
 
i'm going to puke 
train rules 
the last month 
stereotypical crazy mumbler 
drunks 
piddle puddle 
 
rock paper scissors 
random attack 
a man's shoes 
2 sentence story 
doors 
i am no help 
 
head 
are you threatening me? 
damn metrocard swipers 
comfortably asleep on my shoulder 
kick her ass 
almost bitten 
 
while i kiss the pole 
you're getting wet 
things not to pick up 
fondled twice 
turnie the turnstile turner 
subway curse 
 
apology to the mta 
subway music 
also good 
absolutely worse day in history 
cat on dog action 
religious icons performing oral sex 
 
mommy, i'm scared 
high alert 
white powder 
school of hard knocks 
maxims 
you don't have to go to university 
 
homework robot 
see you 
sully 
adina 
change 
be careful with the donuts 
 
flava flav 
that little sh*t bit me 
smelly 
i rebuke you demon in the name of jesus 
all day foreplay 
poo story #49202 
 
special dancers 
pee story #1283 
Subway Stories: true stories from new york's transit system 
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The last month
by robot
Morning commute
Like most mornings, I am barely functioning. There is some sort of commotion in the back of the car I am on, but I can't tell what is going on because my headphones are blasting obscure white rock into my ears.
I hit the pause button on my mini robot.
There is a woman standing in the car looking out the door towards someone on the platform. She suddenly yells, "She was smart to leave you, asshole!"
Door closes.



Morning commute
Reading a magazine while leaning against the door. Across the car from me are two guys a bit younger than I am having a lively conversation - something you don't normally see in the morning.
One of the guys gets off at 14th street. The other guy decides to move to the free space right next to me.
He sidles up next to me, and I notice that he has a highball glass full of, what I assume is, scotch or bourbon or something along those lines.

He looks at me, raises his glass, and says, "cheers".
I nod.

He gets off at the next stop, stumbling a bit.



Afternoon commute
I notice this huge, tough looking gangsta decked out black guy on the train. He's young - high school age - and is sitting down reading a book. Something about how he's reading the book says, "I love this book". I think to myself that it's nice to see a teen reading a book - you don't see that too often.
A few minutes later, a prime spot near the door opens up and I move to the new space and find myself standing right next to the reading teen. Now, I am not one to read over people's shoulders (no, really, I'm not) but something caught my eye when I looked down at his book.
"hard cock"
"aching"
"wet"
He was reading some really explicit porn.
To be honest, I'd be a little concerned about when I stood up to leave the train.



Morning commute
The morning of my trip to Miami I was headed to work with my luggage and dressed in my finest travel ware. My flight left that afternoon, but I had to go into the office for fun meetings.
I am sitting down right by the door and it's a normal crowded morning ride into work. A girl gets on and stands near me against the door.
She makes a funny coughing sound.
Even with my headphones blasting obscure tard-rock my brain sends up a red flag.

I look up at her. She is now standing away from the door, but facing the door.

She makes another odd cough sound. I hit the pause on my music robot and prepare for the worst. She then doubles over and vomits all over the door.

I am standing with my luggage and am like 20 feet away in the matter of seconds.
She throws up a few more times. Takes my seat.

Luckily I am off the train at the next stop with vomit free luggage.








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